You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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