She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize