forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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