On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
