From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
