your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
