My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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