Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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