I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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