Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
