you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
