I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
