I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
