that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
