I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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