Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm sobbing to NWA
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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