I want to have your abortion
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
