margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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