i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you never un-have a 4some
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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