I'm really into asian looking animals
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
