now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
