Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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