In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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