if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish I only lived at night.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
