Your face is a jimmy john
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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