Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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