People with herpes should wear stickers.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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