Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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