yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
