do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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