you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
