i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
