found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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