You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
please come you make the beer taste better
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
