Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
someone owes me an orgasm
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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