I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize