Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
