Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
