I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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