if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
