He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize