Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
