So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
