No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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