Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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