I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Floor bacon is actually really good
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
