from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
