JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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