Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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