yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
