pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
