I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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