Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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