you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
