I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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