WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
