Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
