Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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