There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
