I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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