who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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