Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize